Christmas stories?!

What do you want first, the touching story or the disgusting one? Because they both happened on the same day.

I guess I'll start off with the emotional tear-jerker...

Today I was helping an old woman who was picking up her prescriptions and a few other items such as bread, milk, a few other basic things, and a hershey bar she said was for her grandchild. She was having a hard time affording her prescriptions and was counting down to nickels and pennies trying to come up with enough. Finally she said she didn't have enough and asked me to take off everything except for the prescriptions. Then she asked me, "Which do you think I can't live without?"

Meanwhile, my coworker was helping a young woman who was picking up a script for herself, as well as a basketful of holiday candy, makeup, and other things. The young woman was watching the old woman count out her change and finally told my coworker, "Nevermind, all I need is the prescription right now."

She then took the $50 she was going to spend on other items, gave it to the old woman, said "Merry Christmas, you need this more than I do," and the old woman started crying.

Just when a day full of ungrateful, rude assholes nearly destroyed my last remaining shred of faith in humanity...

It's so heartwarming I could puke.

-------

Ok! Now let's rewind to the beginning of the day for a story that makes me puke for an entirely different reason.

I was the first of the day shift to come in the morning. The midnighter was chilling at the back counter. I glanced at the manager's office, which is the back of the waiting area, on my way in. I saw a big pile of ad papers strewn about the middle of the waiting area so I make a note to tell one of the front store people the next time I see them.

Our poor manager was on her way in for the day, apparently she was picking up the ad papers on the way to her office, and I hear something like a muffled scream, so I come out to check on her, and was in no way prepared for what came next.

THERE WAS HUMAN FECES UNDERNEATH THE AD PAPERS.

SOMEONE SHIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WAITING AREA.

AND APPARENTLY NONE OF THE MIDNIGHT SHIFT NOTICED.

So the manager says, "Fuck this! I'm not starting off this shift like this!" And she throws some extra floor tiles down on top of the poop, and called maintenance to get the floor cleaners out to do it. I heard her yelling into the phone, "I don't care if it's Christmas Eve! There's crap all over the floor and the smell is wafting into my office!! Send someone out!"

As I was leaving work today she was in the process of reviewing security tapes to try identify the mysterious Christmas Eve Pooper. I'm dying to know who it is, and how this came to be. I'm suspecting that at least one of the midnight shift knew about the poop but none of them wanted to do anything about it, so they are all denying knowledge of the turd's existence. Anyway, the surveillance tape will tell the truth.

God I hope she puts it up on youtube.

--IISgirl ... Merry Christmas to all!

Never fear, a student pharmacist is here!

So, many of you may be asking, “IISgirl, where have you been for the past 2 months?”

Well, my answer to you is simple: I’ve been studying therapeutics and saving the lives of little old ladies!

Saving old ladies?! Let me elaborate.

Well, there I was at the coffee shop, feeding my caffeine addiction and studying therapeutics. A fairly boring Sunday afternoon. I glanced up from a particularly enthralling chapter of DiPiro just in time to see a frail old woman fall out of her wheelchair and hit her head on the pavement on the other side of the parking lot.

If I remember correctly, "Oh shit," was my sentiment at the time.

I went running outside. It took me long enough to get across the parking lot to see 4 or 5 other people walking right by this woman who laying on the ground, not even giving her a second glance. I was enraged that these assholes were too engrossed in their cell phones and cups of coffee to give a damn about another human being who was hurt.

The woman was about 80 years old. She had an equally old and frail friend with her who was trying to help her. There was a bleeding gash on her forehead, but she was fairly alert and cognitive. As I was talking to her and checking her out, another person who wasn’t an asshole came over to see if we needed help. I sent him back into the coffee shop for ice and napkins and wrapped her in my jacket.

Now, it turns out the lady was on warfarin, so she was quite the bleeder. Finally the bleeding was under control and I put ice on it. I checked her pupil size—did the whole PERRLA/EOMI exam that I thought I’d never use—to check for signs of a concussion. Things looked ok.

The guy who came over helped me lift the lady into the car and pack up her wheelchair, her very worked up friend said she would drive her to the ER, and my work there was done.

The lady was such a sweetheart. I hope she’s ok. I’m sure she is, she was quite the trooper.

It felt weird, operating solo, making the decisions and having a real patient. Between me and the guy who came to help, I was the one with the healthcare background, so he and the two old ladies were looking at me for direction. It was a relatively minor and simple situation, but I felt so accomplished being able to help that woman. I feel like I really made a difference!

All in a day’s work for a student pharmacist. :)

-IISgirl… to the rescue!

Party Like Your Grandma!

So today was an excellent day to work.
1. First weekend of the month
2. Beginning of the cold season
3. Allergies
4. Herpes.

Yes. Herpes. Apparently October is the 'spread your warts to your lovers' month. Today we had an outstanding number of scripts for herpes related creams/gels and pills. The greatest (and sickest) one came in a little after 12 noon. A young man comes in with a 2 scripts, one for an older man and one for an older woman. The man was asked for identification and I realized he was not related to either of these patients, so I asked about his affiliation to the couple who is getting their herpes gel and valtrex prescription filled. He apparently is an associate of a local Nursing Community and he was telling me how there is a 'herpes outbreak' amongst the residents.

I guess everyone wants to stay warm as the weather is getting cooler. Party on grandma and grandpa.


Alright everyone, stay safe from the contagious flu and herpes!

-IIS....feeling a strange itch after shaking so many people's hands today

Mispronounced Drug Names

I think I am going to start chronicling all the entertaining mispronunciations I hear from patients.

Today's winner is Metmorfin. It's a simple transposition of letters, but I couldn't help but giggle and think of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers... perhaps, Power Rangers: The Later (And Diabetic) Years.

--IISgirl ... go go power rangers!

Haha. That's great IISGirl. What a coincidence, we had some tongue tied patients today as well and one lady called in for her simwatistatin and her husband's meteorprolololol.

--IISBoy...lolololol'ing all the way home.

My life is full of these embarassing little moments!

So I don't have a huge update. Basically, tonight at work I dropped the entire top drawer from the narcotics safe while trying to reach the last box of Fentanyl 25mcg patches, spilling Fentanyl patches everywhere. In all the excitement, I ripped the crotch seam in my $70 pants from Express.

Now, as a grad student, I can afford to buy $70 pants, hmm, about once every 3 years. So naturally I swore up a storm. To make matters worse, my lab coat is missing its bottom-most button, making it impossible for me to cover up my lime green underwear so easily. It was all totally visible and highly embarrassing, letmetellyou!

It figures. Pants-ripping-day ends up being the same day as ostentatious-underwear-day. But, hey, I'm sick of white coats and button-down shirts, I gotta express myself somehow. I hid behind the production counter for a while, but eventually decided it would be more prudent to attempt to duct-tape the seam back together. It didn't work that well. Eventually I convinced my pharmacist to let me leave work half an hour early due to my wardrobe malfunction, and also because we finally got our queue under control and I mentioned that I needed to study (oddly enough she believed that).

Oh yeah, and my district manager was there on a visit at the time and saw the entire incident unfold, including my vulgar and lengthy recitation of common, uncommon, and invented swear words.

And did I mention it was crazy busy during the hour of the pants-ripping? I shouldn't have to--it's the day after a holiday, of course things are going to be out of hand.

Now that I've shared these personal and embarrassing details of the night my coworkers won't let me forget, I could rant about pharmacy school. But honestly, you might have to re-name me Apathetic Intern Girl, because I'm going to need some Alprazolam and Omeprazole if I let myself get any more worked up over the many ways my college has managed to screw me over in the few days since classes started. So I'll just do my stomach ulcer a favor, let it slide tonight and keep counting down the days. :)

--IISgirl ... graceless. Entirely graceless.

How IISBoy and IISGirl Met...

Hey everyone,
It seems IISGirl and I are on a blogging spree. I guess everything has been building up from the summer and the immense boredom we're experiencing in class is forcing us to do something a little bit more exciting (entertaining you guys!)

Well here is something non-pharmacy related. I guess some of you want to know a little bit more about me and my partner and I think you all have earned it. But instead of telling you, here is a small video clip about basically how we met. It happened kinda like this:




And that's how the IrritableInterns came into existence!

:)
Have fun everyone and don't forget to add some comments!! We would love to hear your thoughts.

--IISBoy...who is waiting for a check from MARS for the excellent product placement

Befriending cops FTW.

So there's a police officer who I've been helping extensively over the past week with some insurance issues, and a thing here or there with his doctor. We'll call him Officer Jones. He's gotten about the best customer service I have to offer, which is pretty damn excellent, if I may say so myself. Prompt, courteous, pleasant, knowledgeable, charming, the whole thing. Almost everyone gets pretty good customer service from me, but if I like you, then you get my best material.

Anyway he came back last night before he started his shift to drop off some scripts for his daughter and to see if I'd sorted out his wife's insurance--which I did. As he's waiting in line to talk to me, the patient I'm helping is being a real asshole, trying to bully me, swearing, the works.

He started flipping out saying that I lost his Xanax script, which is bullshit, and perhaps if he wasn't in such a drug-induced stupor, he would have realized this. Eventually he looks in his pocket and lo and behold, there's the script he was accusing me of stealing. He stormed off without an apology, of course.

Officer Jones, next in line, hands me a few scripts and then says, "Well I'll be damned. One of our frequent fliers. Was he giving you trouble?"

I said, "Well, yeah he was being incredibly rude."

"Then excuse me for a second," he says and he walks over to where the guy is standing, shifty eyed.

"Johnny!" says officer Jones, grabbing him by his arm. "I haven't seen you in a few weeks, what have you been up to? I hope I don't have to tell your parole officer any bad news!" He guides Johnny to the corner where they chat for a while. Johnny shifted uncomfortably and seemed to really need a Xanax or two about then.

Officer Jones comes back a few minutes later and tells me, chuckling a bit, "He won't be causing any problems here anymore. By the way, you've been taking good care of me and my family. If you ever need anything, just call and ask for me. I patrol this area. I'm going to make sure to swing by here every now and then during my shift."

Woo-hoo! Drug Depot isn't being robbed tonight!

I wish he could stick around and deal with every rude junkie that comes in.

The moral of the story is: be nice to cops. :)

--IISgirl ... back to school

Drive-Thru dummy

Since we moved to our new location in January, not many of our customers have utilized our drive-thru system (thank god!). I am guessing that because the drive-thru works through tubes and monitors it is far too advanced for many of our brainiac patients to comprehend. However, in the past few months that I have worked full time, the number of idiots tinkering with that godforsaken contraption has gone up considerably from none to about 3 a week. That probably doesn't sound like a lot but these customers are so terribly idiotic, it takes about 15 min for them to get their medicine, pay, and go away.

One guy who used our system looked like a big, important business man. Driving up in his Benz and sporting an incredibly expensive business suit, one would think this man would have some common sense. Ahhh..but once again my confidence in the human intelligence has failed me. He was impatient and could not wait for the container to send the money so he thew his credit card into the pneumatic tube system and pressed 'send'. His credit card flew up the tube and got stuck half way! Long story short...he ended up coming into the pharmacy, yelling and screaming. Fortunately with a push of the container and a little help from gravity his shiny black American Express card can go back home into his Gucci wallet.

One other user would come out of the car and stick her eye into the camera lens on the monitor as if it was a door that I was hiding behind. Of course she would refuse to come the 50 feet into the building toward the pharmacy and would yell at the camera for her Vicodin. After telling her that her insurance won't pay for it until after 3 days, she would stampede around her car and scream. Two days later she came again, stepped out of the car into the sweltering 90 degree weather and once again demand for her pain pills. I reminded her about her insurance and told her it won't be covered until the next day. Again she let out a scream but this time she kicked the side of the tube system (probably hurting her foot and causing more need of the vicodin), sat back into her 1980-something bonneville then slammed her door shut and raced off my screen.

The same situation happened again the following month.

I am thinking that a DVR should be installed and attached to the cameras so moments like these can be recorded and posted on YouTube for all of the world and laugh at this lady's crazy shenanigans.

By the way...school starts this week. :( Bummer.
Goodluck to everyone with their classes. And congrats to the upcoming P1s!

I know we have been kind of lazy with the postings; but I assure you that because IISGirl and I are back in the classroom, we'll have the time to update and keep up with the blog!

Brain Medicine!

I think a zombie came into Drug Depot today.

In a rare lull of activity, our pharmacist and our techs disappeared to the bathroom, the candy aisle, and who knows where else, leaving me all by my lonesome in the pharmacy.

While I was sitting and staring off down aisle 4, a tall man wearing a motorcycle helmet, a taped up pair of sunglasses, flip-flops, red sweat pants and a rain coat (it was sunny and about 90 degrees outside) was making a beeline toward the pharmacy... right up to the pharmacy gate.

My first thoughts upon seeing him were, This is not a normal human being. His gait was an irregular, jerky stagger, right out of a George Romero film, and his right hand never left his coat pocket.

Our gate doesn't lock. Really, it's just a swinging door. The zombie was pushing on it, about to invade.

Ah, shit.

"Can I help you?" I ask, keeping the production counter between the zombie and I. His right hand is still gripping something large in the pocket of his rain coat. I get a distinct sense of déjà vu. The last time someone staggered up to me and I couldn't see his hands, I had a gun in my face a few seconds later. You don't forget a thing like that. I make a mental note of his features for the police report I will hopefully be alive to make later on.

"I NEED BRAIN MEDICINE."

Yes, you surely do, I think to myself.

The zombie pushes the door open. His right hand moves in his pocket. I'm getting scared.

"Sir, you can't enter the pharmacy!" I say.

"BRAIN MEDICINE!"

The door swings back and hits him in the kneecaps, but he doesn't move or anything.

Um. I pick up the phone and try to decide whether or not I should page The Law back from the bathroom to help me out, or if I should call the police. Maybe he just needs his Seroquel refilled or something. Although I don't recognize him as one of our patients, and you'd think I'd remember someone like that. I decide I should page The Law, and meanwhile try to figure out what this so-called Brain Medicine is.

Before I get a chance to do so, the zombie staggers away just as mysteriously as he appeared, back down aisle 4. I'm not sure what became of him.

--IISgirl ... I need a day off!

hehe.

Victory! Sweet victory!

One of my arch-nemeses from high school dropped off some very embarrassing prescriptions today.

Unfortunately, HIPAA prevents me from reveling (and revealing) too much.

I'm trying not to be too vindictive, but this person went above and beyond to make my high school years miserable, so I deserve a little chuckle at their expense.

So, itch away my friend. Feel the burn. : )

--IISgirl ... today was a true test of maintaining my professional demeanor. I passed!

Grr.

Drug Depot does NOT have a public restroom. So whenever anyone wants to use it, they have to go find someone at the front counter, threaten to shit the floor, and then they'll open the staff restroom.

Tonight I spent a good 30 minutes working on an insurance claim, and by the time I finally got a chance to talk to a human being at the help desk, my back teeth were floating. I finally got off the phone with Medco and made a mad dash to the bathroom, only to see a huge (I'm talking 400+ lbs here) woman come waddling out, a smug look on her face.

My face looked like this:

D-:

Knowing I would not get another chance to pee for the rest of the night, I did not turn back. I took my chances. I cracked the door open and only to find that the entire bathroom reeked of week old piss and B.O. I slammed the door shut.

No kidding, my eyes started watering. I grabbed the Lysol, cracked the door just wide enough to get my arm in, and started spraying.

DAMMIT!

The can was empty!

Desperate, I cracked open the men's bathroom to check the situation there, but things there weren't much better

I ran to aisle 12 and grabbed more Lysol and emptied half the can into the women's bathroom, but dammit, now it just smelled like lemons and B.O.

I tried to just hold my breath and hurry up. I couldn't get out of there quickly enough.

To top things off, I'm asthmatic, and the oxygen had pretty much been displaced from the room by the Lysol, and I came back out wheezing. Being the noncompliant asthmatic that I am, I hadn't bothered to refill my inhalers this month, and had to huff and puff my way back to the pharmacy to get those, too.

I hate it when they let customers use our bathroom!

Dammit I can't wait to leave the retail world, not only are we overworked, not only do we not get breaks, but christ, even the privacy, the dignity, the cleanliness of the bathroom is compromised, and that's just not right!

--IISgirl ... go use McDonald's bathroom next time!!

It was kind of a slow evening.

So there I was at Drug Depot, typing the following prescription:

Lamisil 1% cream
Apply to a.a. BID as directed x 1 week
#1 tube

Now, at Drug Depot, Terbinafine cream comes in a box that either says "Athlete's Foot Relief" or "Jock Itch Relief." I was standing in the OTC aisle, wondering to what "affected area" the patient was applying said cream, and which box I should select.

It wasn't a hard choice, really--of course I was going to give them the Jock Itch box, just for comedic value.

Jock Itch Relief box in hand, I went back to my computer to finish typing the prescription. Squinting to figure out the doctor's name, I suddenly burst out laughing, because it was incredibly apropos, almost as apropos as an orthopedic surgeon having the last name of Bones.

Let's just say this doctor's last name combined two words that quite literally mean pruritus of the genitalia, but in slightly cruder language. Oh the irony, Dr. Pruritisofthegenitalia prescribing medication to treat the very condition for which he is named!

Maybe I'm immature, but I thought it was funny.

Oh yeah some chick with MRSA came in tonight, too. It was kind of her to tell me what the big nasty sore on her forearm was from. I spent about 5 minutes dousing my hands with soap and rubbing alcohol after we got her out of the pharmacy and I had dropped a big nuclear bomb of bleach on the counter. Honestly I think I might have a bit of mysophobia. And to be honest that is really quite problematic for someone who deals with sick people all day.

--IISgirl ... MUST. WASH. HANDS.

1-2 shots, q half hour, prn a good time

Ahh, it has been a good weekend, from what I recall from it.

I went out drinking with the Drug Depot crew (what I formerly called Major Chain Pharmacy, but I like this name better) one of the nights, with entertaining results. The Law came out to the bar with a few of the techs and the other intern and I. Surprisingly enough, actually maybe unsurprisingly, The Law is a pretty heavy drinker. Anyway most of the night was on him. We just had to buy the first rounds, or egg him on, then when we got him trashed enough, he felt generous and bought the rest. He came up to me with a napkin that said, "Take 1-2 shots, q half hour prn a good time," and I don't know how many times I heard, "the doctor has authorized your refill!" When we ordered expensive drinks, The Law would laugh and say, "that's gonna need a prior auth!" My god pharmacy humor is so entertaining when you're drunk.

Maybe this was evil of me, but in his drunken state I also got him to agree in writing to buying us breakfast the next morning (Why did the entire 9am shift go out the night before? This was bad planning on our part.) and let me leave early later this week. The Law had a terrible hangover the next morning, but other than that, things weren't too bad the next day.

Today it was so slow, so I spent a couple hours playing poker with the tech.

The highlight of the day was a deaf old lady calling in and asking for "something over the counter like ex-lax." Apparently she had already spoken to the pharmacist, told the pharmacist she didn't know anything, hung up, called back a few minutes later, and got me.

I tried to clarify with her what she wanted. "So you're constipated?"
"Yes."
"Ok..."
"I need something to help me pee!"
"Then you don't need Ex-lax."
"Yes I do!"
"Do you want to pee or poop?!"
"Yes."
"What?"
"I said I want ex-lax!"
"Ex-lax is for bowel movements."
"WHAT?! SPEAK UP!"
"EX-LAX IS FOR POOPING!!!"
"I don't need to poop! I can't pee! I need *mumbles something that sounds like Lasix.*
"YOU WANT LASIX?! THAT'S NOT OVER THE COUNTER!"
"YES IT IS! I'VE BOUGHT IT BEFORE!"
"DO YOU HAVE A PRESCRIPTION? WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME, I'LL CHECK OUR RECORDS!"
"I DON'T NEED A PRESCRIPTION!"
"THERE ARE SOME OTHER OVER THE COUNTER DIURETICS AVAILABLE IN THE WOMEN'S SECTION!"
"I NEEEEEED EX-LAX!"
"...hold on a moment I'll get the pharmacist."

Then I hear the old women screaming at the top of her lungs at our pharmacist, who tells her the same thing I just did.

--IISgirl ... ever notice how most of the day's calls are either people wanting to go to the bathroom, or wanting to stop going to the bathroom?

This is a bit heartbreaking.

There’s an old woman who comes into Major Chain Pharmacy every so often. She has been coming in and talking to me since my lowly beginnings as a clerk, those many years ago. So, over the years, she has essentially watched me grow up. Now she calls me “doctor.” She's a bit of a grandmotherly figure. For blogging purposes, I’ll call her Mrs. J.

Last month she came in with a prescription for Aricept, and as she was dropping it off, told me that she didn’t know what the drug was for or why she was prescribed it.

*sigh*

It’s for Alzheimer’s.

Mrs. J was very upset when I told her this. She was adamant that she did not have Alzheimer’s. For being a very old woman, I had always known Mrs. J to be remarkably independent, always having a story to tell, and always appearing very on top of things.

Saying she was very upset with her doctor for not telling her anything, she did not get the prescription filled, bought some bread, and went home.

She came back the next day and asked me if I knew of a doctor she could go to for a second opinion. I wanted to believe Mrs. J was right and that she was misdiagnosed. To me, she seemed just as sharp as ever. I gave her the phone number to a few doctors in the area, she thanked me, and left.

Today, almost a month later, Mrs. J came in again. I experienced an eerie sense of déjà vu. Almost word for word, we had the same conversation as last month. The same interaction. She did not remember at all that I had given her those numbers a month earlier. Although the date on her Aricept prescription was from April, she insisted she had been given it only the day before.

With a heavy heart, I realized that Mrs. J was not misdiagnosed. It’s no longer she who is watching me change, but sadly, it is now I watching her change.

I asked if I could please fill the script for her, and she refused. I tried to get the pharmacist involved but she would have nothing to do with that.

In any case, before she left, telling me she would call the doctors tomorrow and schedule an appointment, she asked if she could have my phone number. I really don’t think Mrs. J has anyone else to talk to, and she’s really a sweet old lady, so I obliged.

But I don’t think she’ll ever remember to call me.

--IISgirl … no more emotional posts or else I will have to change my name

Ding Dong the Wicked Witch is Dead...

I am so happy. The most terrible tech of the world (the one i mentioned be4) has been fired.
:) :) :) :)

--IIS, I am SOOO terrible.

Spider Bites

Well guys, my computer has been broken for a couple days. I haven't known what to do with myself in the meantime. I was so bored the other night, I actually *gasp* studied! Shocking, I know.

I was starting to believe I was addicted to the internet and that it's interfering with my school work, but thank god I had the experience of the past couple days to prove to me that I'm equally unproductive even when I don't have the internet, so we can't go pointing fingers just at that. I spent most of my time watching 80's movies and playing PS3.

I'm back with a little story from work the other night.

Lady: What would you recommend I put on this spider bite?
Me: Well--
Lady: *blood-curdling scream* SPIDER!!!!!!!!
Me: ...

Coincidentally enough, as if on cue, a spider had descended from the pharmacy ceiling and was now dangling in between us. I grabbed a 20 dram vial and caught him in it. I promised to kill the spider, but, bleeding heart that I am, I really just let it out the drive-thru window later that night after she had paid for her hydrocortisone and left.

The spiders. They are out to get her. I find it hilarious.

--IISgirl ... back to enjoying the internet

The Battle I Will Not Lose (nor remember)

This weekend at work was one of the most intense ever. Usually on the weekend, I am excited and eager to help people with their stupid little problems and issues. Why? Well, its because I have the whole week of school, friends, and alcohol to help distract me and forget about how frustrating working at a Pharmacy can be. Anyways my cheerful attitude was quickly shattered by the mass amount of post-nasal drip sickos complaining to me that it takes too long to buy psuedophedrine products. One guy even tried arguing with me by trying to have me respond to his question, "do I look like I'd be making meth!?", luckily I held my tongue and didn't tell that snaggled-tooth moron what I really thought. Whatever, the point is that my excitement for work turned into quick resentment...I was pissed off and I became a walking bob-omb, waiting for something or someone to come in my way and light the fuse.

Luckily for the world, things were going smoothly for a while and I was once more ready to do good deeds and help people. A woman comes asking me for a price quote for a medication for her dog and I quoted her somewhere around $105.00 for a 2 month supply, and she was excited at the price she quickly asked me to transfer it from her pharmacy down the street where she already has it filled (they quoted her 150.00). She told me she will call the pharmacy there and let them know that it's going to be transfered so I wait a few minutes until I call for a copy.
I finally find some time and called the pharmacy and let them know its for a dog named so-so, the pharmacist quickly snaps at me "yes! I know who you're talking about, gosh!"
I respond, "alright, so may I have the copy.....?"
"yea yea, but I just am curious... how much are you charging her?"
"about a 105"
"oh, hold on please"
***annoying elevator music for 5 minutes!***
the pharmacist comes back with a severe attitude, probably after calling the patient and was unable to reach her, "well, is the patient there with you!?"

"No, shes around here somewhere, uhhh we're kind of busy, can I have the copy? she's expecting it done in about 15 minutes..."

"well, I am sure shes transferring it over because of the price and she doesn't know she is on this special program where we are only going to charge her 68.00; I misquoted her when she called"

"Oo, I see. Well hold on. [I talked to my pharmacist about price matching and insisted to allow me to take care of this matter]...hello? Hi. Well, its okay, you can just give me the copy and if she wants it back there, we'll transfer it back. Ok?"

"Noo, I rather wait for the patient to call me back"

"It's okay, we'll price match your store and we will give her 10% off too. So don't worry about the price the patient needs to pay--we got her covered!"

"well, no--im not obligated to give you the copy without the patient's consent"

"excuse me?! (this is when i start getting tense) I obviously have the patient's CONSENT to get this copy because I am not wasting my time to just call and talk to you! You, ma'am are being very unprofessional. [I see the patient coming toward the counter, so I hang up!]

I tell the patient about whats going on and she quickly gets on her cell phone and totally BITCHES out the pharmacist! Two minutes later, that pharmacy calls us and gives us the copy.

I win.

After I told what happened to my pharmacist, he laughed and said he hated that lady anyways and would've said something worse if he was in my position! (what a great mentor!)


---IISBoy, drowning away this memory and others with a lot of EtOH

The Pharmacists You’ll Meet in Internships--Community Edition

A while back, we had a post, about the people you will meet in pharmacy school.

Our latest installment is “the pharmacists you’ll meet in internships--community edition.”

It would be an interesting study to conduct, to see who the people you’ll meet in pharmacy school will become when (if, in some cases) they are pharmacists. Do they hold true to their pharm school categories? What were the pharmacists I characterize today like during pharmacy school? Check back with me after 2011, when our study is continued.

Without further ado, and in no particular order, I give you The Pharmacists You’ll Meet in Internships. Community edition, of course. Hospital installment coming within the next 2 to 3 years.

The Genuinely Good Pharmacist.
She may be like the Generally Nice Guy of pharmacy school. She always tries to do what’s right. She is what every pharmacist should aspire to be. She treats her techs well and never hides from patients. She is also a preceptor. She is calm, and never takes a bad day out on her techs or interns, as some other pharmacists are prone to do. She is also the one who probably takes the most crap from the district manager, because she does care and she will do something about it. It was this pharmacist who first encouraged me to go to pharmacy school—I’m still not sure whether or not I should love her or hate her for that. Anyway, this person takes a real interest in your internship and is always trying to come up with a new learning experience for you. She has taken you under her wing and you will probably turn out ok thanks to her guidance.

The Ancient Relic.
This isn’t just a middle aged pharmacy student, as our last list suggested. This pharmacist has been known as “druggist,” “apothecary,” and “chemist,” in his lifetime. When he went to pharmacy school, there were only two drugs: aspirin and penicillin. So he thinks that it is entirely reasonable for you to memorize everything there is to know about any given drug, including its structure. The first prescriptions he filled as a young pharmacist were probably written in Latin and had to be compounded. Later, his pharmacy had a soda fountain in it, where he may or may not have dispensed cocaine-cola. Although this pharmacist may or may not be crotchety and unreasonable, his vast experience is still nonetheless a valuable resource, if he thinks a young whippersnapper such as you deserves to hear about it.

The Law.
He has actually become one of my favorite pharmacists. At first I thought he was kind of a tool, but he’s actually pretty valuable for getting things done. Young and ambitious, with a possible diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder, this pharmacist likes everything to be just-so. He likes to see diagnosis codes on pathoamines, won’t cave when being harassed for an early refill on a control, and god help you if you don’t make an offer to counsel if you’re on pick-up duty. He is also a stickler about company policy, which is annoying at times, but is ripe for mockery on his days off. He is not afraid to say no to gift card scammers or to yell at people for going the wrong way through the drive-thru. He is also a pretty good advocate for his patients, and has been known to bitch out many receptionists, nurses, PAs, and physicians for not authorizing refills, submitting prior auths, or clarifying prescriptions quickly enough. Nothing thrills him more, however, than catching a fake prescription. He should probably work for the DEA. He is mildly interested in your internship and makes an effort to keep you occupied and doing more than just tech work, but couldn’t hide his disappointment when you reveal that you have no intentions of staying at Major Chain Pharmacy, or even community pharmacy, upon graduation.

The Cool Pharmacist.
You love to work with this guy. He is usually at odds with The Law. He is probably a recent graduate, most likely still on good terms with the professors and thus a good resource, and often-times a floater. His approach to pharmacy is rather laissez-faire. He rolls with the punches and never gets very worked up over anything. He jokes around, may be known to prank call other pharmacies or give copies in weird voices, and treats you to Starbucks, Taco Bell, or pizza on a pretty regular basis. He will bring his iPod and speakers on weekend shifts and may be known to burst into a song or dance routine on occasion, too. Also mildly interested in making sure his interns have some sort of learning experience under him, in fact he may have a really interesting project, article, or some good insight for you from time to time. He really knows his shit, but unfortunately his nonchalance will probably earn him a hearing in front of the Board of Pharmacy some day, provided his disregard for authority doesn't get him fired first.

I'm Just In It For the Good Hours and Pay.
This pharmacist is pregnant about once a year. She only went to pharmacy school because the job is easy to leave and she only has to work 20 hours a week. On the rare occasions you work with her, she has little if any useful input for you and your internship. Once she hits 8 months pregnant, she sits in the corner, complains about her feet being swollen, and makes you bring her scripts to check.

The Angry Pharmacist.
We have all read his blog. However, I'm pretty sure TAP is really a nice guy at work, and all the day's frustrations come out in his blog, as is true for most of us internet pharmacy ranters. Unfortunately, some pharmacists I’ve had the displeasure of working under are always that angry, both on and off the internet. Angry at you, angry at patients, angry at doctors. I'm pretty sure this person's blood pressure is through the roof. They are kind of the bane of your existence and you find yourself always needing the day off for exams whenever they are scheduled to work.

The Jaded Pharmacist.
Different than the Angry Pharmacist, the Jaded Pharmacist has probably been practicing at least 5 to 10 years. They are fed up with chains, with bureaucracy, and disrespect. But, you know, the hours are too comfortable, and the money too good for them to leave. This pharmacist’s contribution to your internship is giving you advice on life, such as not selling your soul to Major Chain Pharmacy and not listening to a word the district manager says to you.

The Apathetic Pharmacist.
They usually work midnights. They don’t even care enough anymore to be angry or jaded. They might also overlap a bit with the Lazy Pharmacist, but not necessarily, although they may still lash out in a passive-aggressive manner against Major Chain Pharmacy by doing small things such as filing any "important" faxes with the district manager's header on them in the trash can.

The Lazy Pharmacist.
This pharmacist probably gives his interns the most responsibility out of any pharmacist, just because he doesn’t want to do a damn thing. Go counsel those patients, prepare that compound, and talk to that physician on line 8. I will be sitting right here reading a magazine.

The Hospital Pharmacist.
They fill in on weekends for the extra money. They don’t have a clue about how things at Major Chain Pharmacy work, so good luck if the computers crash, you are faced with an obscure insurance problem, or you don’t know where a particular binder of paperwork is kept, because you're flying solo. Usually pretty interesting to talk with, these pharmacists are also some of the happiest you will ever meet.

The Moral Crusader.
The infamous type, who places personal beliefs ahead of his patients and refuses to dispense birth control or Plan B. Thankfully, I have never worked with this pharmacist, and were one to come to Major Chain Pharmacy, I would make sure I never did work with this character, but unfortunately this type does exist, and must be included.

The Spazz.
Nice when it’s slow, a terror when it’s busy. When she wasn't taking her anxiety out on technicians, our particular spazz was known to stand in the derm section, crying or hyperventilating, although thankfully she has moved on from Major Chain Pharmacy to a place that is hopefully less stressful. She is also probably a drama queen, and often a very bad influence. Once the people start lining up at the counter, the queue fills up with scripts, and the phone lines start flashing, this pharmacist is in the corner popping Xanax.

--IISgirl ... as always, hit me up if you've got something to add! comment or email irritableinterngirl at gmail dot com

Lice advice

A woman came in the other night to purchase her daughter's Ovide prescription in addition to four bottles of a hydrating creme by Sunsilk.

Ovide, by the way, is essentially a nuclear bomb for the head lice community.

As she started to leave, she said as an afterthought, "Your hair looks a bit dry and you seem to have a lot of fly-aways. You should try this [referring to the Sunsilk]; it really helps."

At first, I was offended. How dare head-lice woman comment on the arid desert that is my hair! My head may be conducting enough static electricity to stop the heart of small animals, and it may appear as though small tumbleweeds have taken up residence on my scalp, but... your kid has little bugs living, shitting, fornicating, and laying eggs in her hair! I was not about to take criticisms from her, no matter how constructive they might be!

But I swallowed my pride and thought, 'what the hell.' We had received a shipment of Sunsilk bottles written entirely in Spanish, and, as such, they had been marked 75% off, so I picked one up. I was happy that my five years of studying Spanish came in handy for once--I was able to read the directions on the label.

Well, anonymous-head-lice-eradicating woman, I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and I tried it today after my shower.

You may not be able to keep parasites off your kid's head, but you sure know a thing or two about how to moisturize your follicles.

My fly-aways were, indeed, tamed.

So, thanks.

--IISgirl ... at least my hair will look good for my final tomorrow.

Are you Irritable too?

So, obviously me and IISGirl are pretty...irritated with school and work.

Are you pissed off as well? Let us know, email either me irritableinternboy@gmail.com or IISGirl at irritableinterngirl@gmail.com

We want to hear your stories of your adventures as a pre-pharm/pharmacy student or as a pharm tech/intern!

If your story is amazingly funny, we will post it and give you total props for it!



--IISBoy...so busy studying for finals I am asking you to write my latest post for me!

Productivity

Clearly today was a productive day at work. Strangely enough we have not been ridiculously busy the past few weekends. I haven't been sure what to do with all the extra time. I've actually had time to go to the bathroom, eat, and read a magazine! IISboy was nice enough to call me this morning and we had a nice chat under the guise of "calling for copies." You know things have been bad at the pharmacy when my coworker says, "IISgirl, someone on line 2 asked for you by name," and I ask, "Do they sound angry?"

The other memorable part of the day consisted of another intern and I emptying desiccant packages into a big vial (I believe it was an empty budeprion xl bottle) until it was entirely full of silica gel particles and shaking it around like a maracca. It killed about 30 minutes of time. This idea came about at around 2:30PM, actually, so we ended up having to dig through the trash to find all of the day's discarded desiccants.

Then I realized that the maracca was producing a lot of dust, and breathing it will probably cause silicosis of the lungs, a nasty chronic inflammatory condition. So as a final act before we got rid of our potentially hazardous concoction, we decided to test its absorbency, since its whole point is to protect important things like shoes and drugs from moisture.

Apparently adding (several ounces of) water to desiccants causes an exothermic reaction, and a bunch of heat generated very quickly. We couldn't hold the bottle anymore. We were afraid that it might melt all over the counter, so we threw it in the trash and then monitored the trash for the next hour to make sure it didn't catch fire. As of 3:59 when I left, the trash had not caught fire, so it's out of my hands now.

By the way; for being a desiccant, it wasn't as absorbent as I thought it would be, and I certainly don't want an exothermic reaction happening every time some moisture seeps into my bottle of Vicodin.

IISboy tried to call me out in his last post, but I am still too scatter-brained to write the essay that I would undoubtedly compose.

--IISgirl ... I have a Saturday night off work! I don't know what to do with myself!

For your viewing DISpleasure

So this is kinda like IISGirl's picture only..but only A HELL of a LOT more upsetting.

Maybe IISGirl will be in the mood to write a little bit of 'social commentary' on this when she sees this...

Pre-Test Anger

So its that time of the semester again...Finals. It is the most magical time of the year for me- the time in which I begin to understand what the professor has been saying for the past few months and for the first time I feel like I actually know something. Finals week (or weeks for us) is also the time in which those annoying people in my class begin to get even more annoying...they are constantly saying, "ohhh buddyyy--are you ready!???" or "aww im totally going to fail...just kill me!" Oh My God. The world does not understand how seriously I get pissed off when someone comes to me and bitches me out because I am not complaining or as nervous as they are about an upcoming exam.
For instance today...we had an exam later into the day and we still had lecture this morning, so for this 3 hour lag time I was beginning to freak out just because the people around me are going psycho! What the hell? I feel like I am going to fail just because the dumbass next to me is so damn jittery it looks like he's gonna drop a brick in his Fruit of the Looms. Sit your ass down and breathe!!!!!

This is why I don't like to study with anyone...I am not antisocial because I totally love to be around people, but I do not want to second guess my confidence (btw I am not that smart...I just am really confident in what I know) and go crazy! I just want to sit down review my stuff and take the damn exam---not waste my time and contemplate with others on what is or is not going to be on an exam...how the hell is that gonna help me if I'm not spending the time to actually learn that stuff!?

So people if you are one of the million that goes crazy before an exam (it is good to stress, a little) leave me the HELL alone!

Its not like I go into study groups and sit down with a smug look and just say "fucking losers--this shit is easy!" (Those people fuckin make me even more angrier!)

So basically my point is...
I dont really have a point, I just needed to vent and I'm sure there are many of you out there that can relate to this and feels just as much, if not more, anger about stupid nervous people as I do.


---Your Angry (and stressed out) Intern---
IISBoy

For your viewing pleasure, part 3

Nothing too interesting has happened at work lately, other than our idiot district manager being sent to the opposite end of the country and a small victory in the gift card war. It's so satisfying to say no to a coupon for a $30 gift card. At school? Just the usual finals craze. I need to stay away from my classmates, they have been intensely insane the past few days. How many times are they going to ask me my opinion on whether or not something will be on the exam? Devote half the time you spend speculating and freaking out to actual, productive studying, and chances are you'll be in good shape. Myself, I have become a permanent resident of the local coffee shop. Free wi-fi and free refills? And my favorite organic grocery store next door for when I get hungry? (Yes, I'm awfully pretentious and picky about my food for someone who is dirt poor.) Why should I ever leave??

Anyway, I came across this during one of my many study breaks, and had to share.



Oh no, our little blog is starting to get controversial! Although sadly I'm in no state of mind to write a coherent social commentary on this right now (although believe me, it gets me fired up), so I'll just let the irony speak for itself.

--IISgirl ... thankful for a brief respite from the tortures of pharmacokinetics!

Tonight's memorable moment

In the midst of today's 5 o'clock chaos, I had one of the most random phone calls ever.

"Do you carry Colon Cleanse?"
"Yes we do. Aisle 7."
"Can I buy it in the drive-thru? I don't have any legs."

Normally we frown upon selling things other than prescriptions in the drive-thru, but who am I to tell the legless man he can't cleanse his colon?

I don't even know how he's driving a car.

--IISgirl ... confused

Another post for your viewing pleasure...

Anyone notice that it's the same pharmacist from IISboy's post? And again, the poor bastard is trying to compound some Klonopin?

And actually, to be more accurate, that quote should read, "I'd blow a pharmacist's head off for 2mg of Klonopin."

[ie: Pharmacy Robberies on the Rise in Ohio]

Picture courtesy of someecards.com

--IISgirl ... now back to my regularly scheduled biochem notes!

Under no circumstances should you EVER go to work on your day off.

I was on my way home from class, absolutely dying from itchy, watery eyes... really, I was itchy all over. Ahh, spring is here! My allergies are back. I realized I had forgotten to pick up my Allegra and Patanol, so I swung by the pharmacy to get them before going home and contemplating hitting the books.

Of course, Monday afternoon, our pharmacy is absolutely swamped. I'm talking a line 10 deep at the pick-up counter, 5 or 6 people waiting to drop off, and I didn't even want to look at the drive-thru. The phones were ringing off the hook. All of this with only 3 techs and a pharmacist. I decided not to stay and chat, paid for my drugs, and was about to go.

"IISgirl?" I heard my pharmacist say.

SHIT!

I turned around. "Yes?"

"Ummm... would you mind staying for just an hour or so to help us get caught up?"

Oh no. Don't do this to me.

I absolutely adore my RPh, I can't leave her like this, plus I'm dirt poor and begging for extra hours so I can finally pay off the last thousand or so I owe for this semester's tuition, before I have to think about paying tuition for next semester. If I work an hour, I can make like... $10 at best after taxes! Woo-hoooo!

With a sigh, I headed over to drop off. A pile of scripts about the same thickness as a copy of DiPiro was sitting there, waiting to be typed, when a 90 year old mummy walks up, and dumps out a Medco bottle full of almost a dozen different medications, all mixed together. She's practically deaf, by the way, so I'm screaming to her at the top of my lungs. So much for HIPAA.

I swear to god, what she dumped out on my counter looked like this:



"I accidentally mixed my pills together, can you help me?" She had never had a script filled at our pharmacy before, probably never will, and here I am, expected to sort out yet another mail order mess.

She has no idea what she's on or how she takes it. I spent the majority of the next hour looking the pills up online, sorting them all out for her, and telling her what they're for. Do the friendly pharmacists in the mail order company waste time sorting pills out for you, I ask?! No! I'm the idiot who makes my patients wait an extra 15 or 20 minutes on top of the 30+ minutes they would have waited to begin with, while I help obnoxious old ladies out of the goodness of my heart! But what do I care, it's not like my company gives bonuses anymore for meeting the company's goals, nor are we compensated for our time by any means other than our hourly wage. Why should I care what I spend my time doing at work?

Anyway, the ungrateful old bat never even said thank you. I glared at my pharmacist when the hour was up and I had somehow miraculously typed all of the prescriptions, who shrugged apologetically, logged my hours in, and I left.

Next time, I'll just claw my eyes out instead of setting foot into work on my day off to pick up my Patanol.

--IISgirl ... I'm only blogging to avoid studying!

For Your Viewing Pleasure

**Why the the fuck is he using a Mortar & Pestle for an order of Vicodin????**

(http://www.marriedtothesea.com/101107/ten-thousand.gif)

Sunday nights...

Quality question of the evening:

"Can I take Viagra and Levitra at the same time?"

...someone must be desperate!

Thank god our pharmacy is open on Sunday nights so we can answer questions about life threatening conditions like ED!

--IISgirl ... NO MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR PENIS PLZ.

Stupid Techs....

Another rant by IISBoy...

A few months ago the pharmacy's power to hire the techs was taken away and given to the general manager of the store, this means that the first day our new tech started we had no idea who she was and what experiences she had...apparently she had none. This is damn ridiculous. This bitch is 35+ years old and has no technical training of any kind in her whole life. She just began taking college classes at the local comm. college and is taking a ridiculously challenging curriculum of karate, keyboarding, and spanish 101. The only thing she's good at standing in front of the cash register and showing off her cigarette smoke stained teeth...and I'm sure if you examine her a little closer (I never did...the stench of her unwashed hair+cigarette smoke keeps me at a 5ft min distance away from her at all times) I am sure you will find some skin damage on her nose from the shit that she snorts. How she managed to pass the piss test prior to being hired..who knows?

So what makes me upset is that every week when I go in to the pharmacy I have to do my work plus pick up on all of her mistakes. She cannot input insurances, she miscounts all the time, and she cannot re-shelve the medications in alphabetical order. Now you may ask, why the fuck doesn't the pharmacist just fire her ass? Well because the damn store manager refuses to open the position for a new tech until later this year. All she does during the day is talk to customers about her crappy life and stands and stares at us while we're scrambling all over the place as where behind at least 15-20min on everything.

Today we received a huge drug order of 4 or 5 boxes and I was trying to organize them by where they go while answering the phone and she is standing on the side reading the Pharmacist's business card...why!?? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THERE READING THE DAMN ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER OF THE PHARMACY!???


it seemed like she was having difficulty with that too because her face looked extremely tight as she was making out the words of the name of the place where she works... and the digits of the phone number probably made her totally confused.

Unbelievable that one person can do and say so many dumb things in an 8 hour shift....
Also today one of our experienced technician is ~3months pregnant and she gave us the news just this weekend. So today the pharmacist printed up a list of category x drugs to stay away from for her for reference (avodart, proscar, etc.). At the same time the pharmacist asked the stupid tech "you're not pregnant too, right??? hahaha" (obviously he was just joking)

and a simple no would've sufficed.


But from the other end of the pharmacy while inputing a script with the patient in front of me waiting for her insurance card back, I hear "Naw, I'm not pregnant, shit--I haven't had sex in 7 months!"

My eyes along with the patients' widened and I turned and told her, PLEASE...we don't NEED or WANT to know THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

how does she respond?

"I went from having sex 7 days a week to zero!!"

OMG.

Thank god for the patient who was a young woman..she told me in a quiet voice, "please don't let her fill my prescription"



At least I find comfort in the fact that the tech is unhappy and isn't gettin any...


--IISBoy...good luck to all you poor interns that have to deal with even bigger dumbasses than me

Interns are appreciated.

I spent the better part of an hour making an absolutely beautiful compound of Aquaphor, Triamcinolone, and Urea crystals all by myself, and yet all I was congratulated for today by the pharmacist was finding the source of the funky smell that had overtaken the pharmacy (it was the garbage--I had forgotten that I had emptied the unidentifiable contents of the staff refrigerator straight into the garbage can earlier that morning).

This compound was freaking beautiful! 480 grams of creamy splendor! I even finished off the top of the ointment jar in a beautiful damn design that looked like it was frosting on a cake!

Yet finding the origin of the smell was my crowning achievement today.

Although the smell was pretty funky.

Anyway, my hard work is probably being slathered inappreciatively on someone's ass cheeks right now.

--IISgirl ... cleaning fridges is what I go to school for!

The 3 ring circus we call Pharmacy School

We're sitting in class right now (obviously not paying attention) and looking around at our fellow pharm school students. Coupled together in their little cliques and gangs, we can basically label and stereotype each person into a set category. We are sure if you're in Pharmacy School, you, too have these type of people amongst you. For you pre-pharmers, here's a look at the people you will meet in pharmacy school! These are in no particular order, we are just looking down at the front row and just describing who we see.

Okay, first off, we have the obvious know-it-all. She (more often than not it's a she) sits in the front row of all the classes and is extremely organized, with her notes and tape recorder, poised for action. Of course the only reason this person knows it all is because of the massive amount of time they spend studying their notes. They clear out their ipods and replace all their Dave Matthews and John Mayer mp3s with physiology lectures, and listen to it non-stop, just in case they missed anything! Arch nemesis: the slacker.

Then we've got the sleuth. As a detective, this individual must ask a million questions irregardless of whether or not it is blatantly obvious! This person has to raise their hand every 10 minutes to annoy not only the professor but the rest of the class. Frequently, their questions result in the entire class being detained an extra 5 minutes while the professor scrambles to finish the lecture. Most likely, like in our class, the sleuth is a total jerk and thinks they are the shit... Umm. Yeah. Asking the professor to clarify the names of the 4 heart chambers when it is displayed on a 20 ft projection screen does NOT make you smart, just unobservant...better luck next time buddy!

Similar to the sleuth, you've got the editor. This person is very astute, and hangs on the professor's every word, just waiting for the chance to correct him or her! When the time comes that the professor has contradicted himself, the editor immediately raises his hand (typically a guy), and the next 5 minutes of class are spent resolving a minor and unimportant error.

Each class has at least one of their own ancient relic. Our class is lucky enough to have several. A student who is old enough to be the mother of at least half the class. This person may share the role of the know-it-all or the sleuth but I believe, out of respect for the elderly, that they should have their own category. Our class' relic acts like shes 22 and says words like, "f'sure!" "duhhh" and "like, whatever..." My mom is the same age as her and I believe she's never used these words in the same context as our relic. This person will also most likely not be able to operate a computer or palm pilot without significant trouble and help.

The frat boy. One comment only for this person: How the FUCK did you get here!?

The ditz. Counterpart to the frat boy. Again, how the fuck did you get here?!

The creeper. The guy goes after girls he knows are out of his league, and fails time and time again, and yet consistently tries with no remorse, humility, or shame. He is probably a little bit older than the average student, and quite possibly (although not confirmed) lives with his mom well into his 30s. He is obviously alone in life and desires someone to be with, but is too socially uneducated to find a friend. You might feel sorry for him if he wasn't such a god damn stalker! Avoid sitting alone at lunch tables, in the library, or taking the elevator alone, because the minute you do, he will be there to put you in a very socially awkward situation.

The overactive ovary. This bitch goes through her menstrual cycle on a light speed basis, suffering from PMS on an almost chronic basis. Either that, or she's just bipolar! You never know what to expect. Will she be friendly today? Bitchy? Who knows!

Example of her cycle:
Day 1: Hey!!! How are you! Whats UP! Life is so beautiful! :)
Day 2: Hey. How ya doin'. Yea? That's cool.
Day 3: Don't fuckin' talk to me you douchebag, I'm sick of looking at your ugly face!
Day 4: Oh, I was just really pissy...How ya doin' though!? Good...yeah? That's awesome...

Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
I think if she continues like this, her ovaries are going to dry up by age 30.

The un-experienced, aka "the pharmacy virgin." This person bypassed the recommendation of having experience to be admitted into the school. Without any previous on-site knowledge of the Pharmacy Industry, this person made the life changing decision of becoming a pharmacist. Ironically, these people are the happiest people in the class.

The drama queen. The one that stirs things up either by talking shit about someone else in the class or saying something completely offensive. Everyday this person has to come to class with a list of things to bitch about; school, work, family, or her cheating boyfriend who she 'loves' too much to break up with.

The generally nice guy. Fairly social and balanced, this guy always has your back. You miss notes? He's got 'em. Need to switch lab days with him? No problem. Wanna talk sports? Sure thing! Even in the most stressful situations, he's still smiling.

The mom. She has to keep reminding you all the time that she has kids. Demands special treatment and sympathy because she's popped a few out. Has to relate every conversation back to herself, her children, and her husband. I've got news for you: none of us care! She will also try to act like your mom, and try to boss you around or "shhhh!" you during class.

The slacker. Usually a very intelligent individual, this person probably slept and procrastinated their way to the top of their class in high school and undergrad, and are in for a big shock once they start grad school--they can no longer be number 1 without applying effort! After the first round of midterms, they typically learn to accept their Bs, and go back to sleeping, chatting on AIM, and playing video games. If you're not a slacker, you either hate them, or want to be them.

The overachiever. This person is like, omnipresent. Every time you turn around, they're there. At class. In the library. At ASP meetings. They are probably president, vice president, or in some other leadership role in at least one organization. They join every pharmacy organization there is, do every single community service project that comes their way, go to every class event, hold down a job, and somehow still manage to maintain excellent grades. You'd think they might be annoying, but for the most part they're pretty likable.

Sleeping Beauty. I'm not implying it's always a girl, but we all have the individual that is in class, ready to take notes and pay attention...and 15 minutes into the lecture you see them nodding off and falling completely asleep. You are unsure whether to wake them up or just sit there and tell everyone around you and laugh.

The unstable one. The person you take bets on with your friends, as to whether or not they will make it all four years...or even until next year.

The chef. The chef?? You must be confused. But it's the best way to put that even though she is beginning 4 years of intensive schooling, this woman could not wait to have a bun in the oven.

The class couple. Our class hasn't had a successful relationship yet, so I really don't have much to say about this one! There are the omnipresent couples among the p2s and p3s, however. In general, kids, pharmacy school ruins relationships! Don't forget that!

The invisible man. The guy you never knew was in your class until test day.

The Fiancé/Fiancée. For some reason this person thought that pharmacy school is the perfect time to get married. Never mind being dirt poor and not having the time to wipe your own ass! They will talk incessantly about their upcoming marriage, and will plan for it eventually at the expense of their grades. They're generally nice people, so at first you're happy for them... but then you're just fucking annoyed.

The cliques. The catch-all group. We all know what high school was like. Why should pharmacy school be any different? I have news for you... it's not! We've got the girly-girls in one corner, we have the guys in the back, the weirdos stick together, then there's the Asian posse, the Indian crew, etc. People love their cliques.

*If you think we missed the most important type of person, then add a comment or send me an email at irritableinternsyndromeboy@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to add it on (and give props to you!)

**Soon to be up:: our list of the professors you meet in Pharm School!...stay tuned**

--IISboy and IISgirl ... you could probably call us slackers!

Peeing Patients

IISboy had a rant tonight about dirty patients. This reminded me (much to my chagrin) that I, IISgirl, have personally seen a patient pee not once, but TWICE in my pharmacy.

The first such occasion happened about a year ago. A woman was waiting for her prescription, and I'm not sure if 15 minutes was too long to hold it, or what... but she urinated on one of the waiting area chairs.

I did not personally witness the act of micturition, but I did notice things were looking a little moist as she walked away from the pick-up area. It wasn't until about 5 or 10 minutes later when an observant patient came up to me and told me that one of the seats was wet that I put two and two together.

"...clean up in the waiting area, please."

DO NOT EVER SIT IN OUR WAITING AREA. If you have to wait, take a stroll around the store or sit in your car for 15 minutes, but under no circumstances should you ever sit in those chairs! I have seen urine, vomit, and who knows what other bodily fluids leak, ooze, and seep over there. On a side note, I am told that late one midnight shift, someone started a small fire underneath one of those chairs.

On to my second story. There is not much to explain here. It was a hot, August day. One of our regulars, whom we wish wasn't a regular, came in to fill an Rx for Naftin for the 8th or 9th time that year.

A little history on her: she steals our carts. She digs through our dumpster. As for her fungus, it had gone beyond normal fungus, and it appeared as though a small shiitake mushroom was growing right off the end of her finger. No, she is not transient--just crazy.

And there she was, standing in front of register three, peeing. I do not believe this woman is incontinent. Just crazy.

AND SHE IS PEEING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME AND A TECH.

What do you even say in that circumstance? I don't even know. Maybe you learn that in pharmacy school. In our lab at school, we interact with actors who are supposed to train us how to counsel patients and deal with difficult situations. I'm thinking we might learn that how to deal with the peeing patients in our second year. I'd have to check the syllabus.

She walked away, and we saw the telltale wet spot going all the way down her pants, and the puddle now blocking register three.

What else could I do?

"clean up at register three, please."

*sigh*

Another reason for me to leave the chain pharmacy in favor of a hospital upon graduation: they have nurse assistants to take care of those "accidents."

--IISgirl ... don't pee in my pharmacy, or else I will blog anonymously about you!

Dirty Patients

While behind the back counter of the pharmacy working hard, I heard something that may have pissed me off before but was damn excited to hear that day, a ::whistle:: and someone beckoning for my assistance! It was only my first week as an intern so I was excited to lay some 1st year pharm knowledge and without looking directly at the person I quickly ran to the consultation window. I was...or shall I say my nose, was in for a huge surprise---the guy's putrid smell was only comparable to a skunk's ass, which I assume smells like regular ass (which I'm sure smells better than how this guy did)
In his hand he had both a box of lotrimin and lamisil and wanted to know which one would clear the fungus on his fingers and nails...I made it clear to him when I answered him it was not necessary for me to hold and look at the boxes and shake his hand in the end and that answering his question thoroughly and his general appreciation for our help was reward enough.

Bull shit.

I just didn't want to touch him. He was a stinky old fungus man. Let me paint a picture for you-- just imagine how Pigpen from Peanuts would look if he actually aged...and then beat the living crap out of him. Thats how this guy looked. Round headed. Old. Dirty. Beat Up.


Another instance didn't occur with me but with one of our techs who was explaining to a customer how to use RID (lice shampoo or something), because apparently our tech had personal experience with lice just a few years ago (she's like in her late 30's). I see when looking up every few moments that the child next to the woman was scratching her head constantly and then touched her mom's hand. I looked up again a few moments later and I see her shaking the tech's hand with the same one that the child grabbed. It was 7:00pm'ish and I tasted the PB&J I had for lunch in my mouth...
...the tech, being the genius she is, runs straight to the drop-off and begins taking scripts. I lost it! I took her aside and soaked her hands with antibacterial gel and ran a muck with disinfectant throughout the pharmacy. I'm sure it really didn't do much but I felt better so yea.

I hate fucking dirty people. Wash your hands. Wash your hair. You have no damn excuse if you're coming into our damn pharmacy/store and buying shit--you must have the damn money for running water and soap.

A typical day...

Hello and welcome to our irritable little blog. I'm a first year pharmacy student and an intern at a major chain pharmacy. I've been working as a tech there for far too long. Naturally, I hate it. If it weren't for my (thankfully) exceptional coworkers, I would have left long ago. If I hadn't realized there was a job for me other than baby-sitting technicians for 12 hours a day in a chain pharmacy after graduation, I probably would have never gone to pharmacy school.

Where to begin, to describe the last time I worked? First of all I walked in at 3, already in a raging fit of PMS, to find my station an absolute hurricane of prescriptions waiting to be typed. It took me close to 5 hours to catch up with the insanity.

Oh, our regular pharmacist also called off, so we had a fill-in all evening. He's a pretty awesome guy, one of my favorites to work with. His pastimes include prank phone calls to other pharmacies and dancing like Michael Jackson, so a shift with him is usually pretty interesting.

Other than the sheer volume of scripts I had to type, the first case of insanity didn't come for another hour or so. I'll spare you the details, but she started going apeshit on our pharmacist, and the rest of us, because her doctor sent us an entirely illegible fax that was supposed to go in conjunction with a script we had never filled for her at our pharmacy before. We also had no script for her, but she insisted she had dropped it off yesterday. She flipped out to us, to our manager, and even called our district manager when our pharmacist said that, even if we had a script, he would refuse to fill it until the doctor sent legible blood work results over in conjunction to the script. (Of course, it's Clozapine, but you could have guessed that by how unstable this lady was...and it can't be dispensed unless the pharmacist has blood work to review and verify along with it).

A few hours later she came back, after our pharmacist had been trying for a while to get in contact with the doctor to help this lady. The script was sitting at the other chain up the street, where she had dropped it off the day before.

I hate people.

Next weirdo of the night: This guy is a 70-something year old man WHO WILL NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. EVER. He had been bitten by his mangy old cat and naturally it got infected and swelled to gargantuan proportions. I mean, the guy's cat doesn't even like him! I heard the whole 30 minute long story yesterday. He came back today with a script from his doctor for brand name only Ultracet because that time he got the "genetic" Ultracet, it didn't work. Never mind the fact that we had never even filled Ultracet for him before, he had Ultram. And naturally Ultracet is going to have different effects than Ultram because it has an additional ingredient of Acetaminophen. I argued with him for a while over this before I gave up. Whatever, you old bat, I'll fill it for the brand name, I'm not the one paying for it. He had the nerve to complain when it cost more. No shit, there has been a dirt cheap generic out for years.

After telling his cat story to every person who walked by him, he also started telling our patients how bad "genetic" drugs are, inducing a panic in the pharmacy and an influx of questions of "Is this true? I demand brand name!"

If you listen to some old crackpot standing in line at the pharmacy, and believe him, then you are a moron. Your punishment for being a moron is a higher co-payment and having to wait 24 hours while I order the brand name that we never keep in stock, because no one ever fucking gets it, because yes, the generic is just as effective.

Then this guy calls up later and says he is allergic to any Vicodin ES that has the "M320" printed on it. Sorry, but that's all I stock. Unless you have an allergy to things like red dye, you are not allergic to generic drugs, genetic drugs, or even geriatric drugs, you are just a paranoid dumbass who probably also buys things like clothes based solely on having the brand name because you think the others are grossly inferior. Tell me you have an allergy to Red Dye #40, or a specific binding agent, and I will go out of my way to find a manufacturer that doesn't use it. But you are not allergic to "M320," or any other pills you don't find aesthetically pleasing, so STFU. I'm not ordering another manufacturer of Vicodin ES so I can give you 16 tablets and the rest can sit on my shelf taking up space for years, go somewhere else or suck it up.

Back to "genetic" man. This guy ALWAYS tells every female in the pharmacy that he has the body of an 18 year-old. It is not just enough to tell us this, no, he has to give you a visual every time by lifting up his shirt and showing you his leathery old stomach. His claims are definitely an exaggeration.

Anyway this asshole is standing there lifting his shirt up at me, and I'm trying to ignore him and get back to work, when our pharmacist comes over to save the day.

"Sir!" he says, in a ridiculously pompous tone. "You need to put that away right now! Your behavior is inappropriate! My intern is trying to work and we do not appreciate your nudity in our pharmacy! Your prescription is ready, I must insist that you leave!"

The guy grumbled that the pharmacist was just jealous, but eventually left.

Then the pharmacist proceeded to rant about dirty old men, but I guarantee you that he will be a dirty old man someday. In fact he's already a dirty young man and hits on almost every female he works with. But at least he's 27, and not 72, and so far the most he feels like he has to do to impress women is dance.

--IISgirl, going back to trying to pay attention in a painfully boring physiology class

1st Year Goodness

Its almost the end of the first year of Pharmacy school and looking back...I have learned nothing that I can put into practical use in ANY situation. I understand that this is the first year which further knowledge will build off of but come on! I pay thousands of dollars to be in graduate school and I learned nothing practical for the first 8 months! What the hell!? I have the same responsibilities as a 2nd or 3rd year intern and how well do you think I can consult a patient with my 'vast' knowledge of pharmaceuticals???? Might as well let one of the dumbass techs at my Pharmacy teach the patient about their medication. I'm not saying I am a dumbass but the fact of the matter is the same...if they allow us as pharm students to have so much responsibility at least teach us something useful in the first year about our careers as Pharmacists rather than training us to be a hybrid of nurses and statisticians. Do I honestly care how to use a Othalmoscope or how to calculate P and T-value of clinical data. If I wanted to physically interact with patients I would've applied to Med School or if I wanted to do research I would've done my PhD...but wait--oh my! I'm in PHARMACY school.

I am sure many would bitch and complain about my rant saying things like its important to understand and diagnose DRPs and understand the Drug Handouts and blah blah blah. I don't care...I don't care who you are...if you're in Pharmacy School- no matter what you say- 90% of you all are going to end up in fucking Rite-Aid or CVS, it is inevitable and it is a career in which 4 years of training is totally unnecessary. All you need to know is : how to count by five and how to find answers to questions on the internet!

This is how I feel about Pharmacy after one year. I know its terrible but it makes my life a hell of a lot more interesting when I bitch and complain about how stupid the patients and colleagues I interact with are! Honestly though, I love my career choice because I have accepted my fate as an overworked pill dispenser, and a constant search on salary.com makes me smile.

Plus working at a Pharmacy is the perfect job for a cynic like myself. There is no other job where you can face the most obnoxious uptight assholes and despite their constant bitching and yelling is depending on you to dispense their medication. Therefore I have so much material to rant about the patients yet my ego isn't destroyed because I know they NEED me!

Which pharmacy associate has NOT purposely gone slower than usual to dispense a medication or transfer a script for a patient who is a complete fuckface!? I take my profession very seriously, though I bitch about it, and extend my scope of practice beyond pharmaceutical care, I am a social counselor that teaches individuals to become more polite and patient with the world. While many are intimidated by the constipated look the patients gives them when it takes more than 45 seconds to fill their order (since when did CVS or Rite-Aid become a damn Taco Bell??) , I take that as a sign that I am making him/her into a more humble person. See, as an intern--I am making the world a better place!

--IISboy