We're sitting in class right now (obviously not paying attention) and looking around at our fellow pharm school students. Coupled together in their little cliques and gangs, we can basically label and stereotype each person into a set category. We are sure if you're in Pharmacy School, you, too have these type of people amongst you. For you pre-pharmers, here's a look at the people you will meet in pharmacy school! These are in no particular order, we are just looking down at the front row and just describing who we see.
Okay, first off, we have the obvious know-it-all. She (more often than not it's a she) sits in the front row of all the classes and is extremely organized, with her notes and tape recorder, poised for action. Of course the only reason this person knows it all is because of the massive amount of time they spend studying their notes. They clear out their ipods and replace all their Dave Matthews and John Mayer mp3s with physiology lectures, and listen to it non-stop, just in case they missed anything! Arch nemesis: the slacker.
Then we've got the sleuth. As a detective, this individual must ask a million questions irregardless of whether or not it is blatantly obvious! This person has to raise their hand every 10 minutes to annoy not only the professor but the rest of the class. Frequently, their questions result in the entire class being detained an extra 5 minutes while the professor scrambles to finish the lecture. Most likely, like in our class, the sleuth is a total jerk and thinks they are the shit... Umm. Yeah. Asking the professor to clarify the names of the 4 heart chambers when it is displayed on a 20 ft projection screen does NOT make you smart, just unobservant...better luck next time buddy!
Similar to the sleuth, you've got the editor. This person is very astute, and hangs on the professor's every word, just waiting for the chance to correct him or her! When the time comes that the professor has contradicted himself, the editor immediately raises his hand (typically a guy), and the next 5 minutes of class are spent resolving a minor and unimportant error.
Each class has at least one of their own ancient relic. Our class is lucky enough to have several. A student who is old enough to be the mother of at least half the class. This person may share the role of the know-it-all or the sleuth but I believe, out of respect for the elderly, that they should have their own category. Our class' relic acts like shes 22 and says words like, "f'sure!" "duhhh" and "like, whatever..." My mom is the same age as her and I believe she's never used these words in the same context as our relic. This person will also most likely not be able to operate a computer or palm pilot without significant trouble and help.
The frat boy. One comment only for this person: How the FUCK did you get here!?
The ditz. Counterpart to the frat boy. Again, how the fuck did you get here?!
The creeper. The guy goes after girls he knows are out of his league, and fails time and time again, and yet consistently tries with no remorse, humility, or shame. He is probably a little bit older than the average student, and quite possibly (although not confirmed) lives with his mom well into his 30s. He is obviously alone in life and desires someone to be with, but is too socially uneducated to find a friend. You might feel sorry for him if he wasn't such a god damn stalker! Avoid sitting alone at lunch tables, in the library, or taking the elevator alone, because the minute you do, he will be there to put you in a very socially awkward situation.
The overactive ovary. This bitch goes through her menstrual cycle on a light speed basis, suffering from PMS on an almost chronic basis. Either that, or she's just bipolar! You never know what to expect. Will she be friendly today? Bitchy? Who knows!
Example of her cycle:
Day 1: Hey!!! How are you! Whats UP! Life is so beautiful! :)
Day 2: Hey. How ya doin'. Yea? That's cool.
Day 3: Don't fuckin' talk to me you douchebag, I'm sick of looking at your ugly face!
Day 4: Oh, I was just really pissy...How ya doin' though!? Good...yeah? That's awesome...
Rinse. Wash. Repeat.
I think if she continues like this, her ovaries are going to dry up by age 30.
The un-experienced, aka "the pharmacy virgin." This person bypassed the recommendation of having experience to be admitted into the school. Without any previous on-site knowledge of the Pharmacy Industry, this person made the life changing decision of becoming a pharmacist. Ironically, these people are the happiest people in the class.
The drama queen. The one that stirs things up either by talking shit about someone else in the class or saying something completely offensive. Everyday this person has to come to class with a list of things to bitch about; school, work, family, or her cheating boyfriend who she 'loves' too much to break up with.
The generally nice guy. Fairly social and balanced, this guy always has your back. You miss notes? He's got 'em. Need to switch lab days with him? No problem. Wanna talk sports? Sure thing! Even in the most stressful situations, he's still smiling.
The mom. She has to keep reminding you all the time that she has kids. Demands special treatment and sympathy because she's popped a few out. Has to relate every conversation back to herself, her children, and her husband. I've got news for you: none of us care! She will also try to act like your mom, and try to boss you around or "shhhh!" you during class.
The slacker. Usually a very intelligent individual, this person probably slept and procrastinated their way to the top of their class in high school and undergrad, and are in for a big shock once they start grad school--they can no longer be number 1 without applying effort! After the first round of midterms, they typically learn to accept their Bs, and go back to sleeping, chatting on AIM, and playing video games. If you're not a slacker, you either hate them, or want to be them.
The overachiever. This person is like, omnipresent. Every time you turn around, they're there. At class. In the library. At ASP meetings. They are probably president, vice president, or in some other leadership role in at least one organization. They join every pharmacy organization there is, do every single community service project that comes their way, go to every class event, hold down a job, and somehow still manage to maintain excellent grades. You'd think they might be annoying, but for the most part they're pretty likable.
Sleeping Beauty. I'm not implying it's always a girl, but we all have the individual that is in class, ready to take notes and pay attention...and 15 minutes into the lecture you see them nodding off and falling completely asleep. You are unsure whether to wake them up or just sit there and tell everyone around you and laugh.
The unstable one. The person you take bets on with your friends, as to whether or not they will make it all four years...or even until next year.
The chef. The chef?? You must be confused. But it's the best way to put that even though she is beginning 4 years of intensive schooling, this woman could not wait to have a bun in the oven.
The class couple. Our class hasn't had a successful relationship yet, so I really don't have much to say about this one! There are the omnipresent couples among the p2s and p3s, however. In general, kids, pharmacy school ruins relationships! Don't forget that!
The invisible man. The guy you never knew was in your class until test day.
The Fiancé/Fiancée. For some reason this person thought that pharmacy school is the perfect time to get married. Never mind being dirt poor and not having the time to wipe your own ass! They will talk incessantly about their upcoming marriage, and will plan for it eventually at the expense of their grades. They're generally nice people, so at first you're happy for them... but then you're just fucking annoyed.
The cliques. The catch-all group. We all know what high school was like. Why should pharmacy school be any different? I have news for you... it's not! We've got the girly-girls in one corner, we have the guys in the back, the weirdos stick together, then there's the Asian posse, the Indian crew, etc. People love their cliques.
*If you think we missed the most important type of person, then add a comment or send me an email at irritableinternsyndromeboy@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to add it on (and give props to you!)
**Soon to be up:: our list of the professors you meet in Pharm School!...stay tuned**
--IISboy and IISgirl ... you could probably call us slackers!
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6 comments:
This is fricken hilarious!!!! keep it up you two!
lol I swear we have every one of those people in our pharmacy class too!
We had slight variations. "Stupid question girl" is pretty self-explanatory. We also had the "back row boys", which despite going co-ed in second year was always referred to as such. The BRB's usually had a bachelor's degree, had worked in pharmacies for at least a few years, and were married and depending on work/student loans to pay the rent. Could spot a lecture error a mile away but didn't feel the need to point it out. BRB's also included girls like me who got burned out on the front row and being uber-organized and decided to dress in mostly black, listen to a lot of metal, and ramble on about how pharmacy school was not, in fact, preparing us for the real world.
The party guys. Barely 21, skipped classes on Fridays due to hangovers aquired Thursday night. Always begged notes. Made you wonder "how the hell do they stay in?"
i'm not in pharmacy school quite yet, so this is more of a question rather than a suggestion, but is there ever the activist/social justice-y type of person in a class?
I wish, that would be an amazing individual. But everyone in our class are such uptight pricks that they don't have time to believe in anything other than getting the A on the next exam.
I can put a name to every label you guys have there. hahahahahaha.
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